I have had a hard time lately with speaking the truth to myself. I fall into the lies so easily. But the other night I was talking to my mother in law whom I love and cherish so much...and she was sharing the truths with me. The lie I have been telling myself lately is that "Maybe God does not think I am ready to have more kids?" Or " God does not think I am a good mommy?" Which I know in my heart that both of these are lies. I have just been trying to make sense in my head as to why I have been on this journey for so long. I just want it all to make sense and it doesn't.
So Aj's mom was reminding me of the truth. And that is that we live in a fallen world.
Bad things happen to good people all the time.
Why do people die of cancer?
Why do people kill good people??
Why do so many bad things happen to so many good people????
Well the answer is we have sin in this world. God does not want these bad things to happen to people!! He wants life and to the fullest for everyone. But since sin has entered the world these are the kinds of things we have to deal with.
With all of this to say I am still on the fence with seeing a fertility Dr. There might not be any way to get answers and to make sense of all of this?? I don't think that seeing a fertility Dr is a bad thing, I just don't know if I will get any answers?? And I think I just need to come to a spot where I can accept that and be OK with it. I know I need to work at rebuking the lies of the enemy and
speaking the truth of the Lord.
He is good.
He is faithful.
He is loving.
He is gracious.
He is kind.
He is forgiving.
He is so many things. And the enemy is just a liar. So I know where I need to put my focus and I am going to work at keep my head and my heart focused on my Saviour!!
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