Progress

God has been really showing me how I need to grow. When ever he reveals that it can be a tough thing to hear at first and usually you end up saying "OUCH". That was how I felt at first. But once I started working on it I realized that this was going to be a good growing process. I love to grow (I know I can be a little crazy.) Even though the growing pains can hurt at times I still value the process. And I know it is worth it in the end.

The other night I was at church at my small group. We have lots of good conversations there!! But as we were talking I felt like God said "Amy I don't want you to give up hope. I want you to still believe." When I got home I decided to journal my thoughts on that. And as I was writing I was saying that I was not sure if I could trust and hope fully. I wanted to protect my heart. But then right as I was writing that I realized...who am I trying to protect my heart from?? I don't need to protect my heart from God. He has the key to my heart and he holds it like a soft rose. Once I realized that I was like "Ok God I will do as you ask!" He knows what is best for me. He does not want to hurt me. He wants to see me grow!!

The next day I was driving in my car to my moms house. Rylee was singing and asking me all these silly questions. And I started thinking how much I LOVE these times with her!! She is so special to me!! And I really truly felt like I am in a content spot (progress yay!!!!!) I was thinking how much I love our daily routine!! I love all of our silly moments!! And it made me realize that if Rylee is the only child on earth that I am blessed with then I am so happy with that!! A year ago I am not sure if I could have said that and fully believed it. I kept wanting more and not feeling satisfied with where we were at. But God has been showing me the joys of each day and how blessed I am! So all of this to say... Progress baby! I am getting in a good spot and it feels GOOD! And I am so so so thankful to God and how he has been so patient with me in this process!! He is a good God!!